On Motivation

A rambling reflection on what drives our characters, and us

I realized on the train this morning that I’ve made a huge mistake with book 2.

An interlude in a liminal space

Let me back up and explain. Greetings from the Registry of Motor Vehicles! Instead of writing a newsletter with friends and other small business owners, I’m in the waiting room at the RMV finally getting my RealID. It’s a sweltering day, with temperatures threatening to hit triple digits today in Massachusetts.

Parents are bringing their newly-of-age teens to get their first license. A distraught man without an appointment explains his ID was stolen. A tech bro types rapidly on his laptop. His number is called and he scrambles to his feet, stuffing his laptop into his backpack and scurrying to counter 12. A woman is on the phone on speakerphone, speaking rapidly in Portuguese into the bottom of the phone while pacing back and forth in her flip flops. She’s wearing bright green Bermuda shorts and a large sunhat and walks like an actress on a stage. A pale man in a business suit and argyle socks has his sunglasses on inside, I wonder if they’re prescription and he forgot his regular glasses. I sit in the corner near the window, where I can see the whole room full of black plastic chairs and people passing the time until their number is called. I love people watching, especially in liminal spaces–where you’re neither here, nor there. Waiting for the next thing. I wonder what people will do with the rest of their day, what motivates them.

The challenge I’ve faced writing book 2

This is a long-winded and rambling opening to discuss motivation. As I’ve mentioned, Book 2 in the Moon Hackers series is with beta readers right now. The feedback is starting to come back in and it’s enormously helpful. In many ways, writing book 2 has been tougher for me than writing the first book. Yes, the first book took over a decade to develop and write, so maybe I should have a little more patience with myself. But now that I have readers of the series who are anxious to know what happens next, I want to tell them! I have a whole world in my head that’s dying to get out.

I decided to write each book from a different character’s POV. I’m not entirely sure why, but it seemed like a fun idea. But I’m realizing that I don’t know the rest of the ensemble of characters as well as I know the protagonist in How I Hacked the Moon. Moon Girl (not her real name, you’ll have to read the book until the end to find out her actual name), is a character I’ve developed for decades, populating her in many different stories before placing her at the Lunar Coding Complex run by Big Smile. The other characters are well thought out, but they aren’t as truly alive as Moon Girl.

The beta reader’s feedback

This brings me back to the one thing a beta reader said to me that made me realize I’ve made a huge mistake with book 2: I don’t make it clear what my main character’s motivations are. What drives her. Eek, this is a beginner’s mistake. I guess I’m really still a beginner in many ways. Even though I’ve been telling stories and writing my whole life, even though there are almost 1,000 copies of my debut novel out in the world, I’m still a newbie author.

Good news is that I’m amazing at taking feedback. This is one of my best qualities, if I do say so myself. I’m also humble.

Another thing I know about myself is that I’m an extremely driven person. I’ve written in the past about my career ambition and how I drove myself relentlessly to reach the “top” of the career ladder, to make the most money, to have the most successful. Even since I stepped back from a corporate career, I’m pretty relentlessly driven to promote my book, to fundraise for the PTA, to find help for my son in school. So it’s ironic that in my book, where the main character is loosely based on a younger version of me, that I failed to make her motivations clear. And I have to admit, that’s in part because I didn’t really understand her motivations. Until today.

What motivates us?

Earlier in my life I was motivated to be the “best.” To get the promotion, to achieve success. But why? I’ll be vulnerable for a minute and tell you: it wasn’t about money. It wasn’t about fame. It was about being loved, being seen. And that’s also what the main character in book 2 also craves. More specifically, since she’s been living on the moon for more than half her life, she misses the unconditional love of a parent. She has an incredibly close friendship with Moon Girl (protagonist in book 1), but it’s more of a sisterly love. She wants the love of someone who will take care of her no matter what. And specifically, in this book, she wants to get in touch with her Dad.

My number is going to be called soon, so I’ll wrap this up. Yes, I’m still at the DMV, wondering what motivates all the strangers around me. Is it happiness? Love? Money? Being radically honest with yourself, with what you want, what drives you, can help guide the decisions in your life. For me, I realized that once I had the chance to step off the corporate treadmill, I took it. That chance to embrace what you really want to do with your life won’t come for everyone, but if it does, be ready.

Book of the month: The Beat on Ruby’s Street

The last thing eleven-year-old Ruby Tabeata expected to happen on her way to a Jack Kerouac reading was to be hauled to the police station.

It’s 1958 and Ruby is the opposite of a 1950s stereotype: fierce, funny and strong willed, she is only just starting to chart her course in a family of Beat Generation artists in Greenwich Village, New York. Ruby dreams of meeting famous poets while becoming one herself; instead, she’s accused of trying to steal fruit from a local vendor and is forced to live in a children’s home.

In this inspiring coming of age story Ruby struggles to return to family and friends, and she learns her only choice is to follow her heart.

Join Ruby on her journey as she finds unexpected friendships, the courage to rebel against unjust authority and the healing power of art in this unique historical middle grade novel by Jenna Zark.

Gold Category Winner for the Wishing Shelf Award and Finalist in the 2019 Minnesota Author Project!

It’s only $0.99 right now on Kindle

What’s next?

I’ve got the month of July to make the last revisions on book 2 and send to my editor. I am feeling confident and inspired, thanks to my amazing beta readers who have given me the gentle nudges I need to make this book great. I’m so excited to share it with the world.

See you next month!

-R